Magic Dog

It just is. Its all pollution.

Long story short. I am pretty neurodivergent. It prevents me from doing normal things I need to do. I don't take care of my health, I don't take care of my car. I need to take care of my room and my office. And I only make enough money in this rapidly increasing economy to barely survive. I need to motivate myself into doing more commissions and more art for money. I need to motivate myself into taking care of my car. But it is hard. Harder than it has any right to be. And I don't understand why. I don't know why any of this is so damn difficult. There is no reason for it to be difficult like this. It just is. Why am I so broken? Distractions are also a dime a dozen. Social media, and the News keeps me from enjoying life or doing what need to be done  i have a lot great projects that need my attention. But my phone demands more. Going to have to start limiting my phone time for real. I do make it worth my time by watching educational stuff a lot of times, as well as gam...

  Who even knows where this is going. Actually like the darker color better than this., on the ground level. Depression is hitting me hard though. Not going to do too much today I think.

So Charlie Kirk was shot in the neck and killed by a gun. Today is September 11th. Tomorrow is Nintendo Direct. I am just saying these things for historical posterity. *** Being a Millennial is wild. For sure. Irony, Post Irony, Sarcasm. What even makes sense anymore? I don't know. But you aren't reading this blog because you want philosophy – or my feelings. Too bad, you are going to get some of that. But I will semi-promise I will keep in mind your time. Lets get onto it... *** Check this shit out. A store. Made of 3D objects that I drew and made. A different view. Wet floor sign? Sode Soda? An ATM? Ice Machine for Outside. A claw Machine? I want to see how far I take this. Time to buckle up.

       I don't know. This is the folly of all game designers on this level I presume. Our problem is, we don't just want to "make a game". We could do that. We could probably do it "well". The biggest hurdle is that we want to make a perfect game. Not an absolutely perfect game, but we are gunning for that 10/10 awesome game. Not only that but it's a game we both want to play.     Now I am caught in a depression rut, because I don't know what we are doing. I am aimless right now. Hopefully this is just a tiny snag.

My Brother sidewinded me with another game idea. It's frustrating to say the least. I say "frustrating", but I enjoy every minute of game design so I wasn't mad til after the fact. The problem is, we are a two man team, with the possibility to expand to a 4 man team. We only have so much ability between the two of us. We have to choose a realistic goal. But I also want to make a game that I want to play. And we have come to a disagreement. I really enjoyed the idea of our original game idea, but I fear my brother might not feel comfortable doing it or may have hit some snags that discouraged him. I am unsure. He is smart and has great analytical abilities. He will come up with something. But for now. All of my game design energy is expended and put on hold until we have a destination.